Written as a storytelling project, for Toastmasters. I can’t remember if I ever delivered it, though … “Good evening respected esteemed gentlefolk … No that’s not right.” “Lords and Ladies! NO!” Would you envy me my task of being asked to deliver a speech …an inspirational speech … at a wedding … in these Elizabethan times? Where virtually every guest is an actor or playright, and me, a mere meat trader?
This is the script of a speech I delivered - dressed as a mad scientist - for the Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contest. Hence the over-use of exclamation marks, capitals and generally overcooked style. Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen, I am of course Barney Buggins, eminent Scientist and prominent Motivational Speaker! You may have heard of Tony Robbins, you may have heard of Jim Rohn or Dr Phil … but what they all FAIL to grasp is that the answer to the successful life we are all looking for, what YOU are looking for, is not in affirmations or goals or positive attitudes … it’s in pills and potions, it’s in the writings of Newton, the memoirs of Edison … that’s right, the answer to all our problems Ladies and Gentlemen is Science … and it’s oh, so very complex.